STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
