his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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