I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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