Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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