You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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