Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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