no you cant smoke seaweed
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
