you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
