Yo dont text me then not text me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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