i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
