oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
