Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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