The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
