so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
