He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
