This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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