Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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