Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
