dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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