i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
