He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
