What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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