She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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