You don't have asthma, your pregnant
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i out mim tonsoeep
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