No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
