hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
