I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
