I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Terrible idea I love it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
