I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
