I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How naked do you want me to be?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
