I wish my penis had an off switch
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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