please come you make the beer taste better
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
