so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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