I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
