he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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