No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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