Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.