piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.