Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.