ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
