i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found puke in my bra..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
BRING THE BAGELS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
