Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My vagina is very pro this idea
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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