ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
