she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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