He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
