Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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