i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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