Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
