what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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