at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
