It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
