He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
