It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
