need another drink. this is the easiest way
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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