Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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