ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
