I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
