Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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