I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
