The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mom said you looked used
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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