i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
