she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
