i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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