The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
